Interviews with TLK Characters
by tearthgrrl
Summary: Title says all. I interview a few characters from the movie, series, etc. Read and review! Character suggestions are welcomed!
1. Timon and Pumbaa

Finally, a first appearance of myself! Ok not technically, but I will be interviewing all the characters. There aren't many interviewing stories around here so I decided to add one more.

Chapter titles pretty much speak for themselves; whoever's name is in that chapter is who I interview.

Anyway, enjoy the first chapter!

* * *

Tearthgrrl: Hey everybody! Thanks for clicking into my interview! Here you're gonna see a lotta characters. Whether they're from The Lion King movie, or The Lion King series, you'll find them here.

And now for our first guests, I thought I'd start with a few animals we're all familiar with. Please welcome-! (Timon and Pumbaa burst through the doorway all of a sudden, both are visibly gasping for breath. Then the two calm down and sit across from Tearthgrrl)

Well this is a surprise; after I asked you both to come last week you said you were busy, Timon.

Timon: (whose eyes start darting back and forth nervously) Yeah well, we had a sudden... change-of-heart.

Tearthgrrl: Well all the same, thanks for makin' it.

Pumbaa: (politely) Our pleasure.

Timon: Yeah, I always wanted ta be on TV.

Tearthgrrl: Uh, you were on TV. AND the movies. Also, this is a written interview.

Timon: Oh. Aw well.

Tearthgrrl: Now let's get down to business. Here's a question I think a lot of people are wondering; what did you both think when you first saw Simba, all alone and barely conscious in the middle of the desert? (Pumbaa opens his mouth to say something but Timon cuts him off)

Timon: I saw it as an opportunity! (starts to get a little dramatic) This little guy, all by his lonesome in the middle of some dry, barren wasteland. I thought to myself; hey, let's keep 'em! He'll be on our side!

Pumbaa: Timon, I think that's what I said.

Timon: (under his breath) Quiet Pumbaa I'm talkin' to the girl here.

Tearthgrrl: And exactly how did you two manage to take care of Simba as a cub even when he grew to about three times your size and how did you both manage to keep him on an "all insect" diet?

Pumbaa: Well, the easy part was getting him to eat bugs.

Timon: The hard part was findin' enough ta keep 'em full! Do you know how many bugs it takes for him to stay full, for just one day?!

Tearthgrrl: Hmm, I'll admit I don't. But why don't you answer that question for me and everyone reading?

Timon: A lot.

Pumbaa: Simba was a really fun cub to raise up! Although he could be a handful at times, he knew what was right from what was wrong.

Timon: Yeah, I remember the first rule we made: No eating Timon. (shudders)

Tearthgrrl: Speaking of which, here's a question for you, Timon; Word has it that when you met Nala you didn't exactly approve of her. Why?

Timon: She was tryin' ta eat my bestest best friend! And instead of chasin' 'er off like he shoulda, Simba introduces her and then I keep askin' what was goin' on but they just wanted to play the 'catch up' game.

Tearthgrrl: She stopped tryin' to eat him after Simba explained everything.

Timon: Yeah? Well the next thing I knew, they started makin' googly eyes at each other, and I'm tryin' to stop the slip-up of all slip-up's before it even happened!!

Tearthgrrl: Simba and Nala both seem pretty happy to me.

Timon: Oh you'll see… (Tearthgrrl turns to Pumbaa)

Tearthgrrl: Here's a question I have for you Pumbaa; we all know you're an outcast, but why?

Pumbaa: (embarrassedly glancing in the same direction of his tail) Well…

Timon: (starts waving his hands in the air) Ok ok! New topic, any topic, bring it up!!

Tearthgrrl: Ok then, here's another question for you Timon; (clears throat) Why did you ask Shenzi to marry you that night on Priderock?

Timon: I meant any other topic besides those two!!

Tearthgrrl: Well we're all wondering about it, including the hyenas. Late gossip suggests that maybe you're, interspecies?

Timon: NO!! Look I was up against a rock wall in a desperate situation and it was the only thing I could think of. They were gonna eat us! What would've you done?!

Pumbaa: Well I believed you. And you were being awfully convincing Timon; kneeling down on one knee, proposing in such a confident tenor. If she were a meerkat I'd have been tearing up right there.

Tearthgrrl: If she were a meerkat she probably would've been close to getting eaten.

Timon: (under his breath) She was a meerkat, for about a week and a half.

Pumbaa: What was that Timon?

Timon: Uh, nothin'!

Tearthgrrl: Well, I have another question for Pumbaa; Timon says that he's 'the brains of the outfit', but most of the time all he does is talk and that gets you two into trouble sooner or later. And in the end, it's you that saves him and yourself. My question is, why put up with it?

Pumbaa: Well, Timon may say a little more than he means to, but no matter what he's always there when I need him most. That's, what being bestest best friends is all about. And let's face it; without me, Timon would've been eaten a long time ago.

Timon: Hey, anybody notice I'm still here?!

Tearthgrrl: Well said, Pumbaa. I have another question for you though; you seem to be awfully good at beating up animals that are much higher in the food chain than you, any experience you had with this?

Pumbaa: Well I always practiced ramming my tusks into trees when I was a piglet. It was only in my early teen years did I have to use them in self-defense.

Tearthgrrl: Really? Tell us more. (unknown to the two of them, Timon is getting annoyed)

Pumbaa: Well, basically me and all my old friends were being chased by this jackal. We almost got away, until I saw him corner… another piglet friend of mine, her name was… (starts to blush) Paula. (Timon rolls his eyes) So without a second thought, I raced to her rescue and thrashed the jackal away.

Tearthgrrl: Wow, that sounds pretty brave. Another question though, do you have any difficulties when or if you have to beat up a girl?

Pumbaa: Beat up a girl? Whadda ya mean?

Tearthgrrl: Well, remember when you had to save Timon from Shenzi and Banzai? Shenzi's a girl.

Pumbaa: (thinking) Mmmm… I'll admit I don't really like to scuffle with a girl. But when my bestest best friend's in trouble, it doesn't matter what the gender is. Besides I hit the male hyena first.

Timon: Hey hey hey! Did we all forget the most important thing? I'm still here.

Tearthgrrl: Oh, right. Sorry Timon. Here's another question; lately all the hyenas have been a little less…threatening, to you lately. Care to tell us why?

Timon: I would but Shenzi and Banzai would kill me. (realizes what he just said) I-I mean, I didn't say Shenzi and Banzai! I said uh, uh… (looks as if he's lost all hope) I'm dead meat.

Pumbaa: Hey Timon, can we go eat after this? I'm getting hungry.

Timon: I already toldja we're goin' to that bug buffet down the block! Can't you think of something other than your stomach for five minutes?!

Pumbaa: Sorry. (Tearthgrrl clears her throat)

Tearthgrrl: Pumbaa, I have one more question for you; we all know you met Timon one day when you saw him wondering alone in a field at night. The question is though, what were you doing in a field at night?

Pumbaa: Well, I had just gotten banished from my old home.

Tearthgrrl: I just have one more question for you Timon. A lot of people are asking this one. We all know who your mom is, but we're a little "in the dark" about your dad.

A few rumors imply that maybe Great Buzz was your dad. That meerkat who fought back when a hyena attacked him, but got eaten anyway.

It would explain why your mom is so protective of you and why your uncle is so paranoid when it comes to hyenas.

Timon: Well, ya see-

Pumbaa: Uh Timon?

Timon: (turning to him, annoyed) What Pumbaa?

Pumbaa: Did we lock the door behind us when we came in?

Timon and Tearthgrrl: Why? (very familiar laughter is heard outside the door. Timon's eyes widen)

Timon: Oh, now I remember the real reason why we came in here. (he and Pumbaa start to race out of the interviewing room. Tearthgrrl looks over and sees Shenzi, Banzai and Ed chasing after them. She hears Timon and Pumbaa screaming as they leave the building)

Tearthgrrl: No wonder they had a sudden "change-of-heart". Well, seeing as how my first two guest stars just got ran out of here by my three future guest stars, I guess that's it for now. Thanks for reading!

And if you have any suggestions about who I should interview next, please call this number:

**555-017-Chapter Reviews**

This has been Tearthgrrl, stay turned for the next chapter!


	2. Nala

Tearthgrrl: Ok, here's the next chapter. Thanks for the reviews everyone and I've decided to take your advice, and make my next guest star be... (drum roll as Tearthgrrl opens an envelope) Why it's no one other than the Queen of the Pridelands herself, Nala! (clapping as Nala walks into the interview room and takes a seat across from Tearthgrrl)

Thanks for joining us today your majesty.

Nala: Thanks for having me. And please, call me Nala.

Tearthgrrl: Ok then Nala. Here's my first question for you; how long have you and Simba known each other?

Nala: As far back as I can remember. So, probably cubhood.

Tearthgrrl: You had a lot of adventures with him, right?

Nala: Oh yes, quite a lot.

Tearthgrrl: What would you say be the most memorable ones you had?

Nala: My memory's a little groggy, but the Elephant Graveyard was probably something I'd never forget. (under her breath) Even I knew better than to go to "cool places" told to me by Scar.

Tearthgrrl: I think I get what you mean. What exactly were your first thoughts when you saw Shenzi, Banzai and Ed on that day?

Nala: Fear, mostly. My mother had always warned me about hyenas and they seemed scary enough as it was, but to see them in person was a very different story. And at one point I was almost eaten by Shenzi, good thing Simba was there to save me.

Tearthgrrl: I'm just surprised Shenzi didn't scar.

Nala: I think the directors just wanted to give that bit to Scar, seeing as how it is his name.

Tearthgrrl: Another question for you Nala; some rumors imply that Scar is maybe your father? I myself don't think those are true, but could you enlighten us please?

Nala: That's kind of a personal question.

Tearthgrrl: I'm sorry, I'll skip to the next one. What did you think when Scar took over the throne?

Nala: Again, mostly fear. But also a lot of sadness and mourning too; I thought my best friend had just died and I felt so bad for Sarabi. She had lost her mate and only son.

Tearthgrrl: My condolences. Another question; what about when the hyenas came into the Pridelands? Sorry I'm asking a lot of hyena questions, but it seems that's what mainly happened when Scar was king.

Nala: It's alright. And, you're correct; there was a lot of hyena activity during Scar's reign. Though it was mostly complaints about food. And, to answer your question; it was like seeing the famous trio for the first time again, only triple the fear.

Tearthgrrl: Speaking of which, did you see Shenzi, Banzai and Ed a lot?

Nala: Oh yes. They were Scar's three top henchmen, and since I was part of the hunting party, I had to hunt for them like everyone else.

Tearthgrrl: How did you manage to escape from Scar and the Pridelands?

Nala: I'll save that for your later fic. (A/N You'll find out in "A Trio's Eye View")

Tearthgrrl: Yeah, I think that's best. So, out of all the places you could've run off to, how did you manage to get to the exact same place Simba had escaped to?

Nala: Fate I guess. Maybe Mufasa was just watching over me the whole time.

Tearthgrrl: Did you see any signs of Simba before you actually re-met him?

Nala: Well, the first person I saw was Pumbaa. Only, I guess I saw him as a meal more than a person back then. (Both girls laugh)

Tearthgrrl: What were your first thoughts when you found out Simba was alive?

Nala: I just couldn't believe it; all this time I thought he was gone forever but then when I escaped from Scar, by some miracle I find him in the place I run off to. It was like he was back from the dead.

Tearthgrrl: That's sweet. When you met Timon and Pumbaa though, did you think they… took to you well?

Nala: Well, I got sort of a vibe that maybe Timon didn't approve of me. But of course I don't blame him; after all I did try to eat his best friend.

Tearthgrrl: (humorously correcting her) Bestest best friend.

Nala: (smiling) Right.

Tearthgrrl: I also recall that in the movie, we see some sparks between you and Simba. Did you have those same feelings for him when you were younger?

Nala: (laughs a little) You certainly like to ask a lot of personal questions. Well…I suppose I had a little crush on him when we were cubs.

Tearthgrrl: (giggles) I knew it. (clears throat) What about when Simba didn't want to come home? What did you want to do then?

Nala: That was hard to decide for me. I couldn't go back to the Pridelands; no doubt Scar would unleash a few of his hyenas on me. But I couldn't leave Simba either; even though he didn't want to be king, he was still my friend.

Tearthgrrl: What were your feelings when you found out he went back?

Nala: (beaming) Happily surprised.

Tearthgrrl: What about when you caught up with him at the Pridelands?

Nala: Well when I first saw Simba's reaction to the place's current condition, it was exactly how I pictured how he'd react if he ever saw it again. Of course that was when I still thought he was dead.

Tearthgrrl: One thing though; when you both confronted Scar, what was your reaction when you thought Simba had murdered his own father?

Nala: That was another unbelievable moment. But I guess even though I thought it was true, I didn't want to believe it. But now I'm glad I didn't.

Tearthgrrl: Were you scared when you had to fight an entire army of hyenas?

Nala: A little. But then I realized it was either fight or lose the kingdom, and my friend, to Scar. And I didn't want to go through that again so I fought with everything I had.

Tearthgrrl: Did you ever have to fight one of the trio?

Nala: No, but I did see them chasing after Timon. I was about to go help but when I saw Pumbaa go after them I figured everything would turn out ok. And I was right.

Tearthgrrl: Were you worried about Simba when he started to clash with Scar?

Nala: Absolutely. I wanted to help but we were separated by about two hundred hyenas. Who later on went straight to help Scar, but for some reason, turned their backs on him. I heard Shenzi say something about Scar being a "traitor", but I don't know anymore than that.

Tearthgrrl: Were you nervous when you took over the kingdom?

Nala: Not at all. I was going to be married and rule alongside my best friend. What could be better than that?

Tearthgrrl: I usually don't say this twice in one interview but, that's sweet. Well I guess I'm out of questions for now. It was great having you Nala.

Nala: Great being here. And I have to leave anyway; monarchy consultation to attend to.

Tearthgrrl: Sounds exciting.

Nala: (on her way out) Well it would be…if the lion queen of South Africa missed a conference or two. (leaves)

Tearthgrrl: Well, seeing as how her highness has left for a consultation, (which is just a fancy word for "meeting") I guess that's all the time we have for now. If you have any suggestions for who my third interview guest should be, just call the same number:

**555-017-Chapter Reviews**

This has been Tearthgrrl, thanks for reading!


	3. Vitani

Tearthgrrl: Well, thanks for the reviews everyone; I appreciate them a lot! And, once again taking some reviewer advice, I made my next guest another lioness!

And yes I know there were some hyenas suggestions in the reviews and one even suggested Banzai, but that was basically the only one that was clear-cut; you've got to be specific when reviewing my stories.

But anyway, without further ado, here she is, only daughter of Zira and outlander lioness, Vitani! (all of a sudden loud banging is heard, it continues for about two minutes until a loud yelping rings out. It fades and Vitani comes in)

Vitani: Sorry I'm late; some jackal tried to mug me.

Tearthgrrl: Is that what all that banging was?

Vitani: The mugging? No. Me beating the tar out of him? Yes.

Tearthgrrl: Looks like he picked the wrong day to mess with you.

Vitani: (smirking) Any day is the wrong day to mess with me.

Tearthgrrl: Good point. Well let's get started. First of all I'd like to say it's good to have you here Ms. Vitani.

Vitani: Just Vitani, 'kay? I like to cut the formalities.

Tearthgrrl: Ok no problem. I guess I'll ask you my first question now; what was it like growing up in the Outlands?

Vitani: Whadda you think? (a pause, Vitani sighs) Bad; the Outlands to a lion is like the Graveyards to a hyena. There's no food, hardly any water, and half the cubs die of starvation after they're weaned.

Tearthgrrl: Cubs? But we didn't see any males in your pride, at least not who were old enough to mate. 'Course we did see Nuka-

Vitani: (interrupting) My older brother couldn't get a mate even if he was picked to be king after Scar. And speaking of which, the half of the cubs that died were all his, except for, y'know Kovu.

Tearthgrrl: Well speaking of you and your brothers, how would you say you survived through the famine? Luck?

Vitani: (scoffs and laughs at the same time) Far from it. My mother and our pride managed to grab a few kills before we were exiled from Priderock, so we survived a little longer. Besides, I don't believe it luck.

Tearthgrrl: Were you angry after the news of Scar's death at Simba's claws got to you?

Vitani: (a little ashamed) Yeah; Scar was like the father I never had. But don't forget the hyenas did most of the work.

Tearthgrrl: Oh believe me, I don't. Did your mother start training you and the pride as soon as you were exiled?

Vitani: Nah; Kovu was still pretty young, so mom had to take care of him for awhile. Then when he got a little older, that's when the training started.

Tearthgrrl: Were you good when you were training?

Vitani: You kiddin'? I was the best. But mom started focusing more on Kovu when he was old enough to speak and walk and stuff.

Tearthgrrl: Did you think your pride had a chance against Simba's?

Vitani: Oh heck yeah; my mom got us all workin' as a real team. I was even made into a party leader when I was old enough.

Tearthgrrl: This happened before you guys invaded the Pridelands; how did you feel when you found out the hyenas were accepted into Simba's land before you guys?

Vitani: Angry. What else? The pridelanders let in a bunch of bone-munching canines into their lands, but they wouldn't let in their own species?

Tearthgrrl: (after a minute of thinking) Maybe it was because you guys were still pro-Scar and the hyenas weren't.

Vitani: Could be.

Tearthgrrl: Since we're talking so much about Scar, I'll ask you this question; what was it like to be a cub during his time in power?

Vitani: My memory's kinda fuzzy 'cause y'know, I was still a cub but, as far as I can remember, I liked it. Everybody was a lot of fun to have around, (looking a bit mischievous) especially Shenzi, Banzai and Ed.

Tearthgrrl: (a bit surprised) You liked them?

Vitani: Oh sure, mostly when we were playing "teeth tag" though.

Tearthgrrl: Teeth tag?

Vitani: It was this game Shenzi and Banzai first made up, when I stole one of their kills. It was a whole lot better than "kick the cub" anyway, that's the game they made up with my older brother.

Tearthgrrl: You stole a kill from Shenzi and Banzai? That's asking… no, begging for it.

Vitani: Yeah, I guess that's what made it so fun when they chased me around. 'Course, they either got tired out or ran into some boulders by mistake; either way I always won. I didn't get to play a lot of games though; since I was also just a cub when we were exiled. Besides, I thought training was more fun than "teeth tag" or "kick the cub" put together.

Tearthgrrl: A quick question, even though I might know the answer; how exactly did you, play, "kick the cub" or "teeth tag"?

Vitani: Basically in "kick the cub" Nuka was thrown on the ground and kicked back and forth between those three graveyarders. In "teeth tag" you tagged somebody with your teeth.

Tearthgrrl: I thought so. (sorting through some QA cards) I think I still have a few more good questions for you here somewhere.

Vitani: Can we hurry this up? I've got a judo class at six.

Tearthgrrl: (finds a card) Ah, here we go. Did you have a typical brother/sister relationship with Nuka? Y'know fights, arguments, and the occasional exchanging of blows?

Vitani: Yeah, but I always won. Despite the fact that I held back every time. (under her breath) Man, my brother's a wimp.

Tearthgrrl: What did you think of your mother's plan to use your younger brother, Kovu, to get to Kiara but therefore getting to Simba?

Vitani: Actually at first we all thought it was his plan. But other than that I thought it was foolproof. My spirits practically touched what made the sky blue when we cornered Simba…(depressed) until my older brother was crushed under two dozen logs.

Tearthgrrl: Were you sad when Nuka died?

Vitani: Are you kidding?! Of course I was! Even though the guy was a total screw-up, he was still my brother. But that little incident just made me hate Simba more.

Tearthgrrl: Did you think Kovu could pull off…y'know…killing Simba?

Vitani: If three amazingly stupid hyenas can manage to start a stampede and successfully kill Mufasa, then I think my brother could handle softening up a princess to get to a king.

Tearthgrrl: Hey, don't forget Scar was the one who let him fall. But anyway, how did you feel when you found out your brother was in love with the future queen of the Pridelands?

Vitani: I dunno, shocked I guess. But, the both of them seem glad to have each other and, I'm happy for my baby brother.

Tearthgrrl: Baby's kind of exaggerating don't ya think? He only looks what, at most two years younger than you?

Vitani: Yeah, but I like to have a little authority over somebody when I can.

Tearthgrrl: Like mother like daughter I suppose. And speaking of Zira, did you really think she'd just quit her big, life-long plan and join Simba's pride along with you and the other Outland lionesses?

Vitani: Mmm, I guess not. I guess it was just more like, wishful thinking. (under her breath) But she didn't have to threaten my life when I joined my brother.

Tearthgrrl: Were you sad when your mother died?

Vitani: See the question you asked me about my brother dying and just rearrange the words.

Tearthgrrl: After the whole "your brother becoming a pridelander" event, would you say you're still pro-Scar?

Vitani: Well, maybe not as much as I used to be. Seems that he had two identities back in the day, and I didn't know much about Taka, but it seems everybody liked him over Scar.

Tearthgrrl: Yeah, I heard that from a few hyenas. But anyway, did you continue training even after your mother died?

Vitani: Oh yeah, but I wouldn't call it training. I've got a black-belt in several martial arts, mastered every self-defense class I've taken, and I go to the gym every night. 'Cause otherwise I can't get to sleep. …And all that's gotten me everything but a mate.

Tearthgrrl: Hey you're smart, you're talented, you're…smart; you'll find one in no time.

Vitani: (sarcastic) Gee I feel so much better now.

Tearthgrrl: Well I guess that's all the questions I have for today.

Vitani: Really? This was just gettin' good. (gets up to leave) Well, I gotta beat it anyway; my judo class starts in fifteen minutes. (snickers) I wonder if my sensei's gonna challenge me again, just so I can beat 'em again! (leaves)

Tearthgrrl: Wow, she's tough. If she were a hyena she'd definitely be a favorite of mine. (clears throat) Well I guess that's all the time I have for now. And I still have a whole lot of characters to interview.

But obsessing over celebrities never hurt anybody right? (laughs)

Thanks again for reading! The next part's on its way. Character suggestions are welcomed!


	4. Ed

Tearthgrrl: Hey, thanks for clicking in again! I'm sorry to say this but this'll be the last chapter for now as I'm going to upload "A Trio's Eye View" in the near future. But in honor of Jagabor's fic. about them I've decided to take his request and make my next guest, Ed! (applauding much like Shenzi's as Ed walks in. He waves to the readers with his tongue hanging out and his eyes in two directions, as usual, then takes a seat across from Tearthgrrl. His tail can be seen wagging eagerly)

Hey Ed, great ta have ya here!

Ed: (laughs in a loud but friendly way)

Tearthgrrl: Ok well, here's my first question for you; do you ever have a hard time talking to Shenzi and Banzai with your…condition?

Ed: (shakes his head)

Tearthgrrl: Well what about with other hyenas?

Ed: (talks in gibberish, gesturing with his paws every now and then)

Tearthgrrl: (facing towards the readers) For those of you who don't speak "Ed", he said that he mostly just talks to Shenzi and Banzai. Next question; did you see Shenzi and Banzai a lot even before you started working with them for Scar?

Ed: (immediately starts nodding head. Talks in gibberish with a kind tone)

Tearthgrrl: Again to translate; he said 'yes' and that they were best friends when they were pups. Another question: could Shenzi and Banzai immediately understand you when you all met, or did they have to learn how?

Ed: (covers his mouth with both his paws)

Tearthgrrl: Oh right; can't spoil anything before the fic. comes out. Well, here's another question; what ranking was your family in the graveyard? High ranking like alpha, or low ranking like lackey?

Ed: (points to a bookshelf behind Tearthgrrl, which is in the middle of a filing cabinet and a desk, then points to a poster of a classroom)

Tearthgrrl: (after a minute of thinking) Oh I get it; your family was made up of middle-classed hyenas.

Ed: (happily nods)

Tearthgrrl: Ok then, next question; when and why did you start working for Scar?

Ed: (covers his mouth with both his paws again)

Tearthgrrl: Again? I gotta stop asking all these spoiler questions. Well, here's a less revealing one; what did you think of Scar's plan to lead his nephew to the graveyard?

Ed: (noisily licks his lips)

Tearthgrrl: I think we all understood that. Next question; was it hard to catch Simba and Nala in a really big, jumbled up place like the elephant graveyard?

Ed: (shakes his head, then points to the back of his paw)

Tearthgrrl: (guessing) You guys knew the graveyard like…the back of your paws?

Ed: (nods)

Tearthgrrl: I'm getting good at this! Next question; do you guys use the birdie boiler a lot?

Ed: (talks in gibberish)

Tearthgrrl: You don't get many chances? Is that why you like using the birdie boiler?

Ed: (immediately nods his head)

Tearthgrrl: Did you think it'd be easy to catch Simba after the stampede?

Ed: (nods again)

Tearthgrrl: Was it hard chasing him up that big rocky cliff?

Ed: (shakes his head, then talks in gibberish, then starts laughing very noisily)

Tearthgrrl: (turning to readers again) He said 'no' and that it was harder trying not to fall in that big patch of thorns at the bottom. And now he's just laughing at Banzai's unfortunate predicament with it. Here's another question; what was the first thing you thought of when Scar was officially king?

Ed: (licks his lips once more)

Tearthgrrl: But that didn't last long, did it?

Ed: (shakes head)

Tearthgrrl: You and your two friends were Scar's main hitmen, right? Did that give you guys authority over the lionesses?

Ed: (talks in gibberish)

Tearthgrrl: Everybody except Scar huh? Well, I'm going to start asking personal questions now if you don't mind.

Ed: (shakes his head and motions her to go on)

Tearthgrrl: We all know that you and your two friends aren't related, (turns to readers) and all you people reading out there can just look at my profile for proof, (turns back to Ed) so, I gotta ask; did you have any "feelings" for Shenzi?

Ed: (laughs and talks in gibberish at the same time)

Tearthgrrl: (smiling) That was more Banzai's department, huh? Well what about other female hyenas?

Ed: (shakes head, then talks in gibberish)

Tearthgrrl: No but you think they wouldn't have liked you anyway?

Ed: (nods once more)

Tearthgrrl: Did you have problems with Zira, or any of the other lionesses during Scar's reign?

Ed: (lightly waves his paw in the air while making an 'eh' face)

Tearthgrrl: Did you ever want to be able to talk like all the other hyenas, even for just once?

Ed: (mouths actual words, then shakes his head)

Tearthgrrl: That happened once but didn't work out so good? Oh. Well here's one more personal question before I start asking about the movie again; did you ever have a problem looking threatening or scary to people when you were supposed to?

Ed: (shakes head, then to prove his point, he narrows his eyes and grins very evilly, trying to show as much teeth as possible)

Tearthgrrl: Not bad. No wonder you're an alpha. Well anyway, what happened when Simba came back?

Ed: (whimpers slightly)

Tearthgrrl: Did you have to fight along with your clan?

Ed: (talks in gibberish, gesturing with his paws again)

Tearthgrrl: Shenzi and Banzai did most of the fighting, and you helped kill Scar at the end of the battle?

Ed: (nods again)

Tearthgrrl: Was returning to the graveyard as terrible as all the hyenas said it was?

Ed: (talks in gibberish)

Tearthgrrl: Mostly?

Ed: (nods for a final time)

Tearthgrrl: Well, I guess that's all the questions I have for now. Thanks for coming Ed; I'm sure we all enjoyed having you here.

Ed: (smiles broadly, then points to a jar of snacks on Tearthgrrl's desk)

Tearthgrrl: Oh sure, you can have a steak strip. (gets one out of the jar, tosses it over to him, Ed catches it in his mouth, smiles again, then leaves)

Well that's all the time I have for now. Literally: I'm updating a new fic. pretty soon. But maybe if I get some spare time in after the first part of my fic. is done I'll update on this. You can still review though, and for more details, listen to my announcer.

Announcer:(in a very fast tone) _As/of/now/tearthgrrl/is/postponing/her/fic./until/ future/notice/feel/free/to/call/the/number/ below/but/please/do/not/badger/her/about/creating/the/next/chapter./As/usual/suggestions/are/welcomed/and/if/there/is/ possible/time/after/the/first/part/of/the/fic./is/made/Tearthgrrl/may/create/a/new/chapter/to/this./And/once/again/feel/free/ to/call/the/number/below:_

**555-017-Chapter Reviews**

**Tearthgrrl:** This has been Tearthgrrl, thanks for reading!


	5. Banzai

(Static ensures, until a blurry scene comes into view; we realize the camera is being adjusted, when it comes into focus, we see Tearthgrrl talking on a cell phone)

Tearthgrrl: How many times do I have to tell you, THEY AREN'T RELATED! Just check out my account profile for proof. (a pause as she listens) I don't care if we might get sued by the pro-related hyena trio committee; THIS IS AND I'M PERMITTED TO SAY IDEAS THAT I HAVE! (looks at the camera and suddenly realizes this is live) Oh! Um, excuse me a second. (turns her back to the camera and turns off the phone, Tearthgrrl clears her throat as she calmly takes a seat) Hello, and welcome to my next interview. Sorry for the long wait but some things came up along with my starting on "A Trio's Eye View: Part II". But as promised, I got some spare time on my hands and decided to add a chapter on this, along with a few other things, before its creation. Since I figure most of you already know who my next guest is, I'll cut past the intro and just go ahead to bringing him in.

Please welcome, second-in-command of the Kenyan clan, Banzai! (Applause as Banzai walks in and sits opposite to Tearthgrrl) Great ta have ya here Banzai!

Audience member: (off screen) YOU ROCK BANZAI!

Another audience member: (also off screen) I LOVE YOU!

Banzai: Uh yeah, great to be here.

Tearthgrrl: Ready to get started?

Banzai: (shrugging) It's your show babe.

Tearthgrrl: Firstly, I'd like to ask: what was it like growing up in the graveyards for you? Oh and, keep in mind that kids are watching this, so no matter how much you may (coughs) do (coughs) despise the mere memories of the place, try to keep your answer at PG level.

Banzai: Hey, if you want PG, go watch "The Simpsons." I tell it like it is.

Tearthgrrl: First of all: AT MINIMUM, "The Simpsons" are PG-13. Second of all, and this is a warning not a threat: the parents whose kids are watching this could sue you. (Banzai looks annoyed)

Banzai: …I didn't like it. PG enough for ya?

Tearthgrrl: Perfect. Thanks. How do you feel about you two companions Shenzi and Ed?

Banzai: Well let's see…if I didn't like 'em, we wouldn't hang out now would we?

Tearthgrrl: Good point. Anyway, not to be selfish by ignoring the index cards but, I've always wondered: how do you get those eyebrows of yours to look like that?

Banzai: Like what?

Tearthgrrl: Y'know, all bushy n' stuff. If it weren't for those, I couldn't tell you or Ed apart if he happened to focus his eyes.

Banzai: When does Ed ever focus his eyes?

Tearthgrrl: It's happened…on one occasion or another. Don't you notice?

Banzai: Honestly, I don't pay attention to the guy that much.

Tearthgrrl: Oh I have a pretty good idea of who you pay attention to more in your group; but I won't say. (Banzai raises an eyebrow at her) That reminds me; you still haven't answered my question.

Banzai: I dunno; they're just like that! Anything else you'd like to point out about my body?

Tearthgrrl: Oh, nothing you'd be interested in. (giggles) Anyhow, I'm going to get to some questions from the movie. (clears throat) We see some pretty unfortunate things happening to you in the film: getting beaten up by Mufasa, getting shot off a geyser, falling into a thorn pit, getting beaten up again by Pumbaa-

Banzai: ALRIGHT WE GOT IT! Get to the point!

Tearthgrrl: Most people would agree with me if I said that you were the more unfortunate one of the trio. I don't, but I would like to ask: how does all this bad luck seem to befall you, AND how do you cope with it?

Banzai: One: If I knew I'd find some way to pass it on to Ed. And Two: I beat up Ed.

Tearthgrrl: Were you and Shenzi and Ed excited about the whole episode in the Elephant Graveyard?

Banzai: No; we were excited about food. NOT gettin' our backsides clawed up!

Tearthgrrl: Ouch. Were you scared that Scar would find out?

Banzai: (puts a paw to his chin in fake thought) Hmmm, let's see; we promise one scary-lookin' lion that we'll kill his nephew and anybody else who comes along with 'im without a problem. But when it turns out we didn't kill him and the kid and his pals all got away with his brother right beside 'em, what did you think we were expectin'?

Tearthgrrl: I see your point.

Banzai: Eh, we knew the guy would find out anyway. Besides, we didn't really care if he did or not.

Tearthgrrl: Why not? Three against one?

Banzai: …Well that, and he needed us for whatever crazy plans he was cookin' up. (cough) Which were a lot. (cough)

Tearthgrrl: Cookin' up? …Oh, a food pun; you must be gettin' hungry.

Banzai: Don't worry 'bout it; I'll eat later.

Tearthgrrl: About the "Be Prepared" scene: did you guys have to take dancing lessons for that?

Banzai: Naw; anybody can do the "goose-step".

Tearthgrrl: We saw a lot of hyenas during that scene too. Were there really that much, or were some of them like dummies or something?

Banzai: I'd say they were all dummies; Ed's smarter than some of the clowns I had to work with!

Tearthgrrl: Actually that's not what I meant-oh, never mind. Moving on, did you and the other two have a difficult time starting the stampede?

Banzai: No way babe: three hyenas is all ya need for a few hundred wildebeest to start 'a runnin'.

Tearthgrrl: Was chasing Simba up that cliff hard?

Banzai: Not much, but it was harder n' we expected: you'd think a cub as scrawny as him wouldn't be able to run so fast.

Tearthgrrl: (trying to hold back laughter) About the thorn patch scene-

Banzai: (narrowing his eyes) Don't even go there.

Tearthgrrl: Y'know you seem to be getting just a little bit sour; maybe I should start asking more questions to bring you out of it!

Banzai: (sarcastic) Wow, that oughtta help lighten up my mood. In case you haven't noticed chica, this is my behavior at best.

Tearthgrrl: Oh! There's a good start! How come you and your family speak Spanish?

Banzai: Why? (glowering) You got a problem with half-Mexicans?

Tearthgrrl: DON'T SAY THAT!! Aw great, you just spoiled part of a whole chapter in "A Trio's Eye View: Part II"! (turns to audience) Please try to ignore that everybo- …Aw who am I kiddin'?

Banzai: Oops. …Uh, how's about I answer any question you want from here on and we forget all about this?

Tearthgrrl: That sounds like a good idea. (as she is sorting through her index cards) Y'know usually people who spoil my stories don't get off with a slap on the wrist; you're pretty lucky.

Banzai: (scoffing) If I'm so lucky, why the heck did I get clawed up by Mufasa the most, AND fall 3 feet straight into a thorn patch, AND get beaten up by a psycho warthog? Thanks a lot for mentioning those earlier by the way.

Tearthgrrl: Oh, that reminds me of another question! But I'll ask that later. For now: what was it like working under Scar?

Banzai: Well…it stunk a lot less than it did in the end.

Tearthgrrl: (smiling) I just HAD to ask this: how'd he taste?

Banzai: Kinda tough n' gamey; too bad we were out 'a garnish. Plus one lion doesn't exactly fill up a whole clan 'a hyenas.

Tearthgrrl: Here's another question that might seem a bit insulting to you, but I'll ask since a lot of people are probably wondering: the majority of dominant hyenas in society, AND physically stronger ones, are female. How'd you get to be so tough, and in the position you are today?

Banzai: Gettin' trained to your breaking point by some lion'll do that to ya.

Audience member: (off screen) Hey buddy, quit spoilin' the sequel! (Tearthgrrl and Banzai look to see the annoyed person standing in the audience)

Banzai: Oh yeah?! C'mere and say that to my face!

Tearthgrrl: No picking fights on my set! Security!! (Two security guards come in and drag the rude audience member away; his embarrassed wife and two confused children follow) Sorry about that. Anyway, (clears throat as she finds another index card) why did you end up working for Scar?

Banzai: Until your sequel's made, all I can say is "food."

Tearthgrrl: Thank you for not saying anymore. To avoid spoiling anything else in my story, I'll skip to the part we do know: would you consider Scar a bad king?

Banzai: (sarcastic) Oh no: he just grew more and more self-centered every day, and started ignoring everybody else around 'im, and threw the whole pridelands into famine. That's all.

Tearthgrrl: When Simba returned, what was your first reaction?

Banzai: You interviewed Shenzi earlier, right? Well convert her reply to English and make it sound more like it came from me.

Tearthgrrl: Were you and the other two fighting lionesses left and right.

Banzai: Yeah, everybody had to.

Tearthgrrl: Then why were you and Shenzi chasing down Timon?

Banzai: Hey, did you see the condition the place was in?! Hyenas gotta fight, but they gotta eat too!

Tearthgrrl: Hmmm, some people say it was the hula thing that made him appear all the more appetizing.

Banzai: Not really, Shenzi thought he was rabid at first. But me n' Ed weren't in the condition to care.

Tearthgrrl: How brutal was the fight on priderock?

Banzai: We had hyenas bein' thrown off the place, trapped in the fires, and some just plain bein' killed by the lionesses. In my opinion though, us three were fightin' the hardest, since maybe if we did that Scar wouldn't kill us after it was over.

Tearthgrrl: (grinning) Irony.

Banzai: (smiling slightly) Yeah, yeah.

Tearthgrrl: Well, thanks for answering all those inquiries for us Banzai. But now it's time to move on to the personal questions! (Tearthgrrl and the audience look happy)

Banzai: Aw boy.

Tearthgrrl: Hey, you're a celebrity; you should've seen that coming. And speaking of celebrities, how do you deal with the problems of a movie star's life?

Banzai: (chuckling) You're gonna have to be a lot more specific, babe.

Tearthgrrl: Ok…take rumors for example: what happens when everybody believes one about you?

Banzai: (rolls his eyes) Folks'll believe anything in print. If the news said it wasn't cool to breathe, anybody with a TV would drop dead.

Tearthgrrl: Geez, where'd you come up with that one?

Banzai: Saw it on a copy/paste in a profile once.

Tearthgrrl: Well, how did you end up being a celebrity anyway?

Banzai: (laughing) Well I didn't get into a movie by beatin' up all the other auditioners.

Tearthgrrl: Let's hope not. About those rumors though; along with the rest of the cast of TLK 1, 2, and 1 ½, there's been quite some scandalous ones about you…and Nala…and Shenzi…and I believe-

Banzai: First of all, she came onto me; and who could blame 'er? With a husband always busy bein' Mr. High-and-Mighty King, and a guy like me up for grabs, uh…I better stop talkin' now before she gives me another call.

And about that last one, yeah so we're dating. (turns to look at the camera) Anybody got a beef with that?

Tearthgrrl: Is it serious?

Banzai: Is that your business?

Tearthgrrl: Hey, you said any question I wanted; I could let the audience show you how they felt about you spoiling the chapter-

Banzai: No, no, no! That's fine. Just, ask the question.

Tearthgrrl: I did; you have to answer.

Banzai: (sighing) Yeah it's serious.

Tearthgrrl: Does she know about Nala?

Banzai: She does now.

Tearthgrrl: Well anyway, we all know how ridiculously pesky the paparazzi can be-

Banzai: Tell me about it.

Tearthgrrl: Do you have any tactics on how to get away from those camera-happy leeches?

Banzai: Yeah but I'm not sayin' nothin' on live TV! I'd get hounded the minute I walked outta this studio.

Tearthgrrl: Actually, since I'm such a big TLK fan, I allow all my guests the choice to take a private exit out of here. And they've all accepted too…except for Vitani; said she could handle herself. …Oh I know! I'll start asking questions about Scar's reign again!

Banzai: You're pretty giddy; are you really a fan or just a coffee-lover?

Tearthgrrl: Oh, a little of both. Did you three ever associate with Zira and her kids?

Banzai: Much as I wish we hadn't.

Tearthgrrl: Got any "favorites" out of those three?

Banzai: Nuka was a real pain in the rear. But the most annoying of 'em would definitely be 'Tani.

Tearthgrrl: 'Tani? …Ohhhhh; Vitani. I get it. Anyway, you were in 1 ½ right?

Banzai: Yep.

Tearthgrrl: I'll start asking personal questions about that movie, then!

Banzai: Now you're combing the two?!

Tearthgrrl: There's a special button right beside me that lets the audience come closer-

Banzai: Alright, alright!

Tearthgrrl: What gave you the idea to chase Timon's colony?

Banzai: Just somethin' to pass the time.

Tearthgrrl: Time for what? (Banzai opens his mouth, just quickly shuts it. Tearthgrrl is impressed) That was a test: good job.

Banzai: Are you here to interview me or quiz me?

Tearthgrrl: Well, since you've already spoiled one of my chapters I guess it's ok to ask this: do you get offended when people stereotype about Spaniards-I-I mean Mexicans?

Banzai: Yeah but mostly it's because they all think we're the same thing. I mean there's TONS of other people out there who speak Spanish they ain't Mexicans. (starts counting with the digits on his paws) Costa Ricans, Puerto Ricans, Venezuelans, Hondurans-

Tearthgrrl: I think we get the point. Another question: what were your feelings when Timon proposed to Shenzi? Anger? Disgust? Jealousy?

Banzai: JEALOUS 'A THAT RUNT?! NOT ON YOUR LIFE! I WOULD'VE TORN THE LITTLE FUR BALL TO SHREDS IF IT WEREN'T FOR THAT STUPID TUNNEL!

Tearthgrrl: Somebody's getting angry… Well, I have just one more thing to ask: (turns to the audience) GIVE 'I'M A ROUND OF APPLAUSE! (the audience happily claps as Tearthgrrl turns back to Banzai) …Well, I guess that's everything I wanted to do. Thanks again for coming Banzai; it means a lot.

Banzai: (starts to leave) Yeah, well… Anyway I'm late for somethin' important.

Tearthgrrl: (smirking) You mean that date with Shenzi I heard a few female hyenas talking about a few days ago? (Banzai's eyes widen)

Banzai: (poorly lying) No! (runs out)

Tearthgrrl: They make a cute couple. Well, thanks for reading everybody! We all had a fun time today didn't we? I hope you enjoyed it. For now, I'm off to finish making the first chapter of "A Trio's Eye View: Part II"! Announcer guy, take us outta here!

Announcer: (once again in a very fast tone) _/This/interview/has/been/the/sole/working/of/Tearthgrrl/who/is/now/off/ to/create/another/story./As/said/before/please/do/ not/badger/her/with/requests/if/reviewing/her/other/stories;/she/will/happily/ accept/requests/on/this/story/only./To/give/ Tearthgrrl/your/comments/simply/call/ :_

**555-017-Chapter Reviews**

**Tearthgrrl:** See ya next time!


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